According to SitiBe, a former worker at the Royal Canadian Mint has been found guilty of stealing gold bars worth $140,000 from the workplace by lubing them up with Vaseline and then jamming them up his ass.
Justice Peter Doody (seriously, that’s his name) said Leston Lawrence “clearly had the opportunity” to steal the gold from his employer because he “often worked alone and the security cameras would not have caught him slipping so-called gold ‘pucks’ into his pocket.” Throw in the fact that Lawrence’s locker “contained Vaseline and latex gloves, which could have been used to insert a puck into his rectum,” and it was curtains for his not guilty plea.
Between December 2014 and March 2015, Lawrence set off the security alarm at the Royal Canadian Mint 28 times, but the security guards just figured it was a mechanical error. After all, who would even think about smuggling a bunch of gold bars out of the building by hiding them in his ass?
The answer is Leston Lawrence, and he’ll now face sentencing later this month for doing so along with the fellow convictions of possession of stolen property, conveying gold out of the mint and breach of trust by a public official.